Whether or not I ever transformed into Miss NH, I had become a woman with a kind heart, open arms, and a healthy, kick-butt bod!
Photo courtesy of Katrina Bernard Photography (c)
Photo courtesy of Katrina Bernard Photography (c)
Photo courtesy of Katrina Bernard Photography (c)
The Miss NH program has lead me toward an enormous amount of self respect through my adolescence and into young-adulthood. Entering into the Outstanding Teen competition at 15 years old, in the first year, which Meghan Lamontagne was crowned, I was a fish out of water. I had never done anything glamorous like that in my life, but jumped at the opportunity to perform a solo dance. Having not made top ten, but amazed by the kindness and excitement of the volunteers involved I came back for more the next year.
Low and behold, I was crowned Miss NH's Outstanding Teen 2006, and "shocked" was an understatement. I remember them putting the crown on my head, tears dripping down my face, thinking to myself, "Oh, shit." Floods of fear escaped through my eyeballs, scared every bad thing I had done in my life was going to surface - instantly regretting being torturingly fresh to my German teacher in the 8th grade. How could I possibly be a "Beauty queen" when just the weekend before I watched someone pass out after taking too many drugs?
--gasp-- Here comes the part I never shared, with my parents and even some of my best friends.
The Miss NH organization saved my life.
Signing the contract to be a titleholder tossed my nerves and morals around, knowing very well there were times I didn't "meet the character criteria" of a titleholder. I had been in questionable situations for any one of any age; had helped my sister hide her drinking problem too many times by dragging her up the stairs to her room so my parents wouldn't wake up after she threw up all over herself; went through a rocky, very personal depression; and overcame a dangerous phase of cutting.
However, at the crowning moment of shock, fear and elation, I vowed to bang a hard left off the winding road I was headed down. I knew I had been through enough in my 16 years of life that I really could turn it around and be a touchable, relatable, down-to-earth role model to other teens, preaching self love and worth.
And, I did it. Seven years, five titles, three platforms, and three tatoos later I know I have made a difference in teens lives while being myself every step of the way. I helped many self-loathing teens find inner beauty and raised countless funds for vulnerable teen healing programs and for foster children, deserving a chance to have a loving family.
I am the luckiest girl/queen/woman to have had this program as my backbone. From adolescent woes to breaking up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend to the death of my mother, I knew my Miss NH family had my back and would help pick me up, if even unknowingly, when I fell.
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